Girls’ football is a different game, but does that make it better or worse than the boys?

In the world of parenting, the old mantra of ‘you get what you are given’ rings so true for all of us fortunate enough to have children. As long as they are happy and healthy, nothing else matters.

In my small circle of close friends, the lads I grew up with, we all have two kids each, and all of my school buddies have daughters.

From the five of us, I am the only one blessed with one of each, and my son arrived first, followed by nine girls in the group, including his own younger sister. When we all get together, which is rare these days due to the whirlwind of life, my son is seriously outnumbered.

My aforementioned circle of friends formed its bonds three decades ago from a shared love of sport, we all love it, and along with being happy and healthy, I had one more crucial stipulation in the offspring lottery.

If they don’t like sport, and football especially, we take them back to the maternity ward and ask for a refund!

From the minute he could walk, my son had a ball at his feet, a goal erected in the back garden and cones carefully positioned for fun (training) purposes. In fairness to the lad, he has developed into a decent player and is now bridging the sizeable gap from the junior game to adult football.

As he went through the age groups, football changed from being disjointed fun to a more structured game. He learned the nuances of positioning, tactics and mental resilience.

Moving through the teenage years, it has now become a physical test, and the adult game is a different level. My lad is 17, he is not tiny in height, but he now stands on a pitch surrounded by hair and tattoos and looks physically under-prepared.

No question, the first season in adult football was tough, he struggled, but the second season is bearing more fruit. The physical intimidation has disappeared, the bigger challenge now is managing expectation and understanding that playing at Step 4 of the men’s game is not easy.

He plays on the wing and now understands that some games will involve a lot more defending than he wants. He has to compete in the air, be strong in the tackle, withstand physical power and the verbal battering that is part of the men’s game.

Breaking news: blokes on a football pitch are now always very nice to each other but that is part of the fun, part of what makes winning even more satisfying.

His younger sister is also mad on football, but she is playing a different game.

Through her Primary School years, her interest in the cones and the back-garden goal was fleeting. She would have a kick around but generally felt a little daunted by big brother smashing the ball as hard as he could, and not always hitting the target, as evidenced by our ravaged back fence.

Then, one summer at the age of ten, the football bug caught her bad. Suddenly, she was out in the garden a lot more than big brother, practising skills, developing her weaker left foot and shimmying between the cones.

It was time to find her a team!

Kid B is a lot smaller than her big brother, one of the smallest in her school year, and not blessed with his express pace, but her first touch is superb, and she wants to win as badly as he ever did, probably even more.

So, she joined a new team, and it was tough at first. Girls football at that age involved combining players from two school years into one team, and the bad luck of the draw placed her with girls a year older, and considerably taller and stronger.

She found it hard and this new team lost more than they won, a lot more, but she stuck with it and now at the age of 13, the players have grown together to now become a team playing near the top of their league.

While Kid A is breaking into the sweaty world of men’s football, Kid B is competing in a world of teenage girls, and all the pressures that can bring, but the game is their release, their comfort zone as a group.

Unlike my son, who did have plenty of friends in his various teams, my daughter’s football mates are her best mates. They spend all night, every night, playing video games on group chats. The bond is unbreakable, and it was formed on a football pitch.

The goal (sorry) is the same for boys and girls, score more than the opposition and take the win, but the physicality of male football is not mirrored in the female game. It still matters, of course, but there is greater emphasis on skill and technique.

In the boys’ game, the big kid is often the most effective player, particularly in those early teenage years. In the girls’ game, it is all about the kid with the most ability. Does that make girls’ football better? Of course not, just different.

The boys’ game is faster, they kick the ball harder and further, the tackles are more aggressive. Does that make boys’ football better? Of course not, just different.

There is also a difference in the attitude of the players. Boys, particularly as they enter the testosterone territory of teenage years, are pretty nasty to each other on the pitch, they can say some horrible stuff to intimidate opponents.

In my experience, the girls don’t go down that route. They call for fouls, occasionally grumble at the referee, but they are generally kinder to each other on the pitch. It doesn’t make their game better, just different.

For all the differences, the shared experience of loving the game, wanting to compete and improve, forming special friendships is what really counts, and it is universal for both boys and girls.

If my school-mates yearned for footballing sons, those feelings have now disappeared, as their daughters prove their love of sport is just as strong as any lad.

The Lionesses have elevated the female game in this country and the national pride that came from their achievements was shared by all, men and women, boys and girls. If you love football and love your country, you want your team to do well.

So, when you next hear or read derisory, demoralising comments on the female game, ignore the ignorant, and remember it is just played in a different way, but those out on the pitch love it for all the same reasons, male or female.