Medical Matters: Support is here for those suffering from bereavement

Losing a baby during pregnancy or in the early months of life affects far more people and families than the public often realises.

Around 45 families in Torbay and South Devon sadly experience baby loss every year. It is an extremely distressing time for the entire family.

In my role as a bereavement midwife within Torbay and South Devon NHS’s maternity services, I support families from around 13 weeks into pregnancy through to full term. The families I support may have experienced miscarriage, late fetal loss, stillbirth, neonatal death or a termination for medical reasons.

I guide families through diagnosis, birth, and postnatally, acting as their main point of contact until they meet with a consultant, who may be able to help us understand why their baby died. Sadly, some families do not receive an answer, and lots of research is being conducted nationally to better understand the reasons for and causes of baby loss.

I collaborate with teams across maternity, chaplaincy and community services to ensure families access all the support available. I also assist with legal paperwork, funeral arrangements and memory-making. For families experiencing pregnancy after a loss, I provide guidance during what can be a very anxious time.

In my role as fetal medicine specialist midwife, I support families who are having complications with their baby in the pregnancy. I work closely with our fetal medicine consultants and sonographers to be a point of contact for the women and their families through what is often a period of unknown and uncertainty. 

For some families the complications that baby has been diagnosed with may mean that they opt for a TFMR (Termination for medical reasons). The decision making for families during this time are incredibly challenging. My role is to provide non-judgemental support and advice and guide them through what continuing or ending a pregnancy may look like. 

My role as bereavement midwife means that I can be with these families if they make the decision for TFMR and continue to be their single point of contact through this process. I hope that this reduces the burden on families having to explain their story to different people. 

I find my job to be incredibly rewarding and naturally there are emotional challenges with this. To be the person to sit alongside families when they are experiencing such difficult decisions and the journey through baby loss means you can’t “fix” how someone is feeling. Rather to help validate their emotions and support them to get through the early part of their grief journey. I feel that my joint role has really strengthen our service for bereaved families. 

Baby Loss Awareness Week took place last month and helps raise awareness for pregnancy and baby loss. To mark the week, Torbay seafront’s lights were changed to pink and blue and we had a really positive response from families on this; We hope that this will now become an annual event 

We are also incredibly grateful for the support offered by the charitable bereavement fund run by Torbay and South Devon NHS Charity. We are overwhelmed by the generosity of donations from the family, relative and friends that have used our bereavement facilities, called the Meadow Suite. This year we have been able to completely refurbish our quiet room in the antenatal clinic. 

The quiet room is often used as a space for families to spend time when they have been given difficult news after a scan with our sonographers. Having a calm environment and private space is a crucial part of their bereavement care journey. 

On Saturday 06 December, we will be holding a craft morning at Torbay Hospital’s Bayview restaurant from 10am – 12pm, with fun activities for all ages. This event provides an opportunity for families to come together and remember their little one.

The following day (Sunday 07 December) at 3pm, we will hold our remembrance service at All Saints Church in Babbacombe, where families can reflect and remember their baby. Families are welcome to have their baby’s name read out and added to the star tree in the church, which is later moved to the chapel at Torbay Hospital.

This event has become an important date for many families, and we are always pleased to welcome those attending for the first time. Please do join us. For more information, contact our chaplaincy team on 01803 654186.

Pregnancy isn’t always predictable and around 20,000 expectant parents per year will get the news that their baby may not be developing as expected.

If you are worried about an antenatal result and wish to seek further information, support and impartial guidance, please visit the Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) website on www.arc-uk.org.