Me vs the Hon MP

It occurs to me that wind turbines are best placed in those parts of the UK that use the most electricity and/or produce the most carbon emissions.

Take London for example. Monster wind turbines could be placed in each of the eight royal parks and could be called the royal arrays.

Some could be sited in the grounds of Buck House and Hampton Court and even in the waters of the Thames.

The following is my imagination of how a conversation might go if I put this idea to the local Honourable MP.

Me: “So what do you think of the suggestion to place monster wind turbines in London?”

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MP: “But where would the mighty wind come from to turn the monster blades?”

Me: “Surely enough hot air is spoken in the Commons to propel these things?”

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MP: “Alas, that hot air is unreliable and not to be trusted.”

Me: “Well, what about that other venerable house where my lords sit and slumber. After a lunch of curried eels and a few pints of porter surely enough wind would be expelled to drive even the mightiest wind turbines.”

MP: “Unfortunately that wind is highly volatile and at the strike of a match could blow up the Palace of Westminster and would make the Health and Safety Executive very angry.”

(Why didn’t Guy Fawkes think of that!?)

Me: “So there is no chance of wind turbines being erected in London for the Japanese tourists to admire?”

MP: “I’m afraid not.”

So there it is, not only can there be the wrong kind of snow on the roads and the wrong kind of leaves on the railway lines, now there can be the wrong kind of wind in London.

M Kendall


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