• Dresses to Impress

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Mother of the bride

After the bride and groom, the most important person at the wedding is the bride's mother. After what could be a lot of hard work involved in the preparations, the day is also her chance to shine and to treat herself to a beautiful outfit.

Apart from the fun side of choosing what to wear (see ‘Choosing what the bride’s mother wears’ above), the bride's mum traditionally has a huge amount to do in planning the big day. One thing's for sure: it's unlikely to be the same as her own mother's duties were. Times have changed and now many couples do all their own planning (and pay for it) or involve both sets of parents.

However, some still go for the traditional approach, so what, then,
would be expected of the bride's mother?

Her list of duties can be daunting and can include organising,booking and/or ordering: guest list, stationery, invitations, gift list, reception, transport hire, flowers, photographer and seating plan… and then acting as hostess on the day. And all of this has to be done in consultation and agreement with the couple, or it could all be a disastrous waste of time!

But today's couples seldom leave Mum to go it alone; they give lots of help and advice and may even involve the groom's family. Once your daughter and her fiancé have named the day, sit down with them and talk through their expectations of your involvement and contribution. This way you will save yourself aggravation and rows later when the date is approaching and
pressure and stress rear their heads.

If the couple want to do everything themselves, don't be downhearted; either they will hit snags of one kind or another and will ask you to take over or they will be radiant on the day – having done it all their own way and saved you the stress and bother. And isn't their happiness the most important thing?

Other aspects have changed. Unthinkable a generation ago, the modern mother of the bride does not have to wear a hat if she prefers not to – although why wouldn't she with today's varied and stunning designs? She is also allowed to make a speech; and might even accompany the girls on the hen night.

CHOOSING WHAT THE BRIDE'S MOTHER WEARS

From the ceremony to the end of the reception, the bride's
mother is on show. What she wears is of primary importance. You
need it to look great and suit the occasion.

Here are some general ideas…

The one thing she must not do is upstage the bride in any way
– keep it elegant, sophisticated and understated. Aim for some
co-ordination between the bride, bridesmaids and groom's
mother, fitting with or complementing the overall colour theme
but, most essentially, not clashing or, worst of all, turning up in
the same outfit as the groom's mum (it does happen!). You all
want to look good together in the photographs.

There is far less formality and rigid adherence to tradition at
today's weddings, but there are a few rules it is wise not to
break. One of these is that no one but the bride should
consider white or cream. It's even more tricky these days,
when brides often choose pastel colours themselves, for
guests not to turn up in something lighter. But at least Mum
knows what her daughter is wearing.

She is also quite likely to be very busy on the day, so it is vital
that Mum's outfit is easy to wear, that her shoes are not too tight
and she feels as well as looks good – it's going to be a long day!

MOTHER OF THE GROOM

The bridegroom's mother can tend to get a bit overlooked but she is just as
entitled to look good on the big day. Many of the tips about choosing an outfit
for the bride's mother apply equally to her.

The bride will set the tone with her dress and everyone else in the wedding
party will be working together to complement the overall wedding theme or
colour scheme. You’ll may also want to confer with the mother of the bride
about whether or not you wear hats, and you can both match your corsage to
the bride’s bouquet if you wish.